Instructionally Impaired

I am teaching these two projects at Scrapbook Chic on Saturday, and I really need to sit down and write the instructions. I created the wallhanging about 3 months ago, and the clothespin was done almost a month ago. Both projects are currently at the store, so all I have to go on are these two photos and my memory.

Now, I know that all of you perfectly well-adjusted folks are saying, "Why the heck didn't she write the instructions as she completed the project?" The answer to that is a complex combination of laziness, procrastination and childhood trauma. I absolutely HATE to write instructions! I'm blaming it on a fourth grade assignment involving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

In the fourth grade, our teacher gaves us the assignment of writing instructions on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. After we had all turned in our instructions, the teacher got out bread, peanut butter, jelly and a knife. She then proceeded to make us each a sandwich based explicitly on our directions. The results were sandwiches made inside out and some with the peanut butter applied with the teacher's fingers, because no knife was mentioned in the directions.

It was a really good assignment and definitely got the point across. However, my slightly neurotic mind took that point and mutated it into something ugly. Now, I'm afraid to write directions, because they may be followed by someone with a completely literal view of the world and no common sense. I face writer's block anytime I have to sit down and spell out the steps required to complete a papercrafting project. And this is why I wait until the very last possible moment to complete my directions. See, I'd rather write about why I can't write the instructions than to actually sit down and write them!

Thank you, Mrs. Unrau. (Who, by the way, was a very good teacher and taught me all sorts of wonderful things, including my multiplication tables and the power of a positive outlook!)